Friday, January 16, 2009

IF IT LOOKS LIKE A DUCK AND QUACKS LIKE A DUCK......or more Norfolk Ramblings.....

It would appear that my previous post has pinged up on the Norfolk Island bad publicity radar.
Like all people, including idiots, I am entitled to my own opinions, which I generally feel are well informed, and I expect to be corrected or informed otherwise if my knowledge has holes in it. I welcome all debate /discussion and embrace the freedom of speech that the internet offers. The email link on my profile is proof of that. I can be identified by the many photos and references and am willing to divulge my full name and details if someone was to request them by personal email and had a damn good reason to do so.
Becj55's profile seems to contain absolutely nothing to identify him or her and the anonymous comment is even worse in it's concealment of identity. So if these people ( or same person ) can't be contacted by normal means then I'm sure they will get my reply as it pings up again.
I received the following comments:

Becj55 said...

You are kidding me right? Norfolk Island is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been and if anyone decides not to go to Norfolk because of your comments well that's nothing but a damn right shame. I am 31 and have been to Norfolk 3 times now. What a fantastic place to get away from the ratrace of the mainland. It's great not having to answer a mobile phone every few seconds and can just relax on the beach. As for nothing to do... what about a massage or ride a horse along the sand or play a round of golf, go fishing, go on a progressive dinner, visit the gallery, do some shopping (well that's to name a few things anyhow.) Nothing to do? You've got to be joking. I have no idea what brochures or websites you were looking at but everytime I have been it has been great. I really don't understand what it is you were expecting! I have met some of the friendliest people in the world and them keeping their traditions for hundreds of years is a credit to them. Maybe if you had have stopped winging for 5 minutes and spent more time doing what your supposed to do on your honeymoon you may have enjoyed your time more.


Becj55 - For starters, you clearly do not know how to relax. Your comment about not having to constantly answer your mobile phone shows that you have not worked out how to turn it off. I don't need to fly anywhere in order to relax. We were merely after a short honeymoon in the Pacific and chose Norfolk as it sounded interesting. I never said that you couldn't relax on the island, in fact that's part of the reason we went there and indeed we did do a lot of relaxing, but as written it wasn't always by choice.

We did indeed visit a gallery or 3. Well, we tried. One was closed with no signs saying what the opening hours are. The museum was closed when it was advertised by signage as being open.

Golf, not particularly into it myself and my pregnant wife certainly wasn't up for any prolonged physical exertion due mainly to still getting over a cold, which you would have realised if you'd actually read the post properly, and she was still experiencing morning sickness. As for horse riding, refer to previous reason and, well you work that one out genius. FYI horse riding is one of those "do not do" things on the pregnancy list.

Shopping? I can go shopping for nearly all those products available right here in Melbourne. Why would I want to spend my time doing something I can do at home?
We did indeed go on a progressive dinner and that wasn't too bad. But it did not make up for all the unsuccessful attempts at organising our own tours or visiting places of interest.
For the most part, the locals were friendly enough. I never said that they weren't.

There are many other negative things that occurred on the island which I haven't mentioned in the previous post, but seeing as you seem to think that I need to validate my opinion further I will do that just for you. Please read on.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Zuba,
what a shame you have let your preconceived attitude ruin your holiday. Had you gone with an open mind you might just have allowed yourself to enjoy Norfolk. Locally made goods abound, obviously you didnt look far. there are some truly beautiful items, art etc available.
I guess living in a city you dont have the ability to appreciate life in the slow lane. FYI Mobile phones were introduced in 2006,not 1997. & holding a referendum for a roundabout shows democracy is alive & well. How many times have you moaned about things your local Govt has done, & wished you had a say? Well on Norfolk everyone can have their say. You wont find a more caring community anywhere, & the pity is that you missed the point completely. Fancy going on about Pitcairn, whats that got to do with it ? its 3000 miles away for goodness sake. Sure the people are proud of their heritage, thats how it should be. People go to Australia & show an interest in Aboriginal history, thats what people do when they visit somewhere new.
Its not like Australia is perfect, or crime-free, especially Melbourne !!!
As it happens Norfolk is the biggest Return destination in the southern hemisphere, they cant all be idiots. I know people who return there for holidays 15, 17, 22 times. it is incredible. people form a bond with this beautiful place.
It is safe, friendly, relaxed & picturesque. Bet you have to lock your place up like Fort Knox just to go into the back garden (if you even have one) On Norfolk folks can go out all day & leave the keys in their car & the house unlocked.
Yep Zuba, you missed the point.
& as they say on Norfolk "Sorry fer et" ... meaning 'sorry for it, or "we're sorry for you" !


Locally made goods: The pottery was ok, as was the screen printer who offered fabric and paper prints as well as various articles of clothing etc. ( we purchased some items from here as gift ) The gallery at the cyclerama had some wonderful pieces but they weren't all locally made. We also bought some locally grown coffee to give out as gifts.

It is true that I live in a city. I did however spend 18 years of my life living in a semi rural place and regulalry travel into the countyside. I enjoy bushwalking and camping, as well touring by car and pre semitrailer crash, by motorbike. I also enjoy fishing and photography which are both very "slow lane" pastimes. So your comment about my not being able to appreciate life in the slow lane is completely unfounded.

You say I stated that mobile phones were introduced in 1997. Not sure where you got that from. I actually wrote "last year". I was wrong in stating that as I actually meant to say a year ago. That is what a local told me. I guess having written the post in January and not December I must been stuck in the slow lane. For that I apologise and thank you for incorrectly bringing it to my attention.

As for needing a roundabout referendum and that showing that democracy works, well it's just seems a little absurd. If you have a referendum about something so trivial then you really have too much time on your hands. I wonder how long the debate was about the speed hump in the middle of it and which way it should be aligned. If I really want to get things done by local government I would start a petition or run for election myself.

You ask what Pitcairn has to do with it yeah? Considering the local population refer to it relentlessly, that all the "true locals" can trace their lineage directly to it, souvenirs are sold with Bounty motifs, there are staged plays about the mutiny and all the guide books and brochures state it as a major point of interest I'd say that it has a lot to do with it. "Being proud of heritage" Interesting. Let's refer back to my previous post in which that period between the mutiny on the bounty and the resettlement on Norfolk was abounds with dastardly deeds. These are the foundations on which the current population was built upon. I'm not saying that the current population is anything like that, but that is a part of the "heritage" and while you might find it ok to exploit the Bounty/ Pitcairn connection for profit you have to accept the rest of the story and acknowledge it, and therefore wear it. No place in the world is without skeletons in the closet, but you can't stand up and say that Pitcairn has nothing to do with Norfolk when it doesn't suit you. We visited somewhere new, showed an interest and learnt something new about Norfuk and Pitkern Ailen. If that doesn't sit well with you then tough.

Crime free Australia: Considering the non aboriginal population was made up of convicts and their overseers, much the same as the original Norfuk Ailen settlers, we could never be crime free. It's in our 'heritage', our original sins. Come to think of it Pitcairn was settled by mutineers who abducted unsuspecting Tahitians. Hmmm, it would appear we are all guilty in one way or another. Yes, one is able to leave cars with keys in the ignition parked on the street, but it would be rather difficult to avoid the authorities on a 8x6km island after having stolen one. I do indeed have to lock my doors when I leave my abode. That is what people do. That is why we have locks and keys and security devices yeah? There are plenty of ratbags out there who will take advantage of lack of security. That is also why we have a police department and judicial system.

In short, I only wrote about our experience in an honest manner and even left out other unsavoury experiences as I didn't want to harp on about how crap things were, but I feel you leave me no choice but to bring some more of these to light in order to underline our distaste.
That was our experience and we can only thank the local tourism infrastructure and operators for making it happen.


Fish: We went to an eatery which specialised in things oceanic. The fish served to my wife resembled a sponge that had been left in a bowl of cooking oil to soak up every last drop. I kid you not, you could have squeezed it and watched as the oil poured out of it. On another occasion we went to a higher end eatery and were served with the most delicious beef and lamb. Thinking that these people could actually cook, we returned to try some of their fish and pork. The fish was hard, dry, rubbery and resembled a cheap piece of slip on footwear in texture. The pork was tough as nails and resembled an old leather boot in texture according to my wife.

One particular lunch my wife was tucking in to a warm beef salad. She had only got a couple mouthfuls in when she realised that the salad component was about to walk off the plate all on its Pat Malone. There were aphids all through it.

The Italian eatery served her a ravioli dish in which the ravioli was not cooked through.

The leagues club would not serve lunch as we were a few minutes early.

(I must say that Dino's restaurant was the only place we went for dinner that actually had fantastic service, great food and a gorgeous setting. Highly recommend that one.)

The winery owner's attempts at humour came off as derogatory and arrogant quips about the city and country we live in. He seemed to think that he knew all that there was to know about wine and that the silly city slickers had no idea at all. Pardon me for questioning the warm and humid tropical like climate's suitability for growing good wine fruit.

The scenic flight's were off as the Cessna was due for it's 100 hour service and no one was able to tell us when that would happen.

Two kinds of fruit are available. Bananas and papaya. I understand that this a seasonal thing, but surely someone must be able to grow other kinds of fruit. Hell, if the climate is supposedly good enough for grapes then other fruit varieties must be a walk in the park.

Seafood. I was hoping that being an island in the Pacific I could sample some of the fine oceanic offerings. I was disappointed to find the prawns came from Queensland and the oysters from New Zealand. I can buy these at home anytime I feel the need.

Shopping. How many stores do you really need selling assorted trashy bric a brac like little statues of Spaniels, Chinese manufactured trinkets and novelties. If I needed Italian goods I could buy them here. If I wanted jewellery I could buy it here. If I desired Swiss products I could buy them here. A point and shoot 35mm film camera, now they're really popular.

Anyway, some friends have arrived and I have wasted enough time on this reply.
I hope this clears up any questions as to the validity of my opinion.


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Monday, January 12, 2009

THE HONEYMOONERS.....

Norfolk Island.


What a queer little place that little 8 x 6km pimple in the Pacific Ocean is.
I thought that the subtropical Australian territory would have some of the things we tend to associate with the Pacific like: pretty scenery, nice weather, friendly locals, tasty fruits of land and sea and a chance to relax after the hectic months leading up the wedding and end of school.

In some respects it was exactly that. With a low to mid twenties temperature and humidity levels not too oppressive and pretty scenery, it definitely lent itself to some serious R & R.
What did let it down was the appalling lack of decent food and generally poor service.
Tour operators who don't call you for days to confirm bookings.
Museums doors firmly locked at advertised opening hours.
Accommodation operators who double book your cottage and force you to find alternative accommodation for part of your stay.
Tourism Awards Gold Medal winning restaurateurs who serve deep fried duck spring rolls which are fridge cold inside, even after being told expressly that all food served must be cooked thoroughly due to my wife being pregnant. Not to mention the wine served in glasses which I assume were cleaned with skanky tea towels and smelled like they had been used by a brick layer to dry his armpits after a day on the job.

We tried to find some quality locally made products to buy as souvenirs for ourselves and friends but there was a distinct lack of any such thing. Most merchants were selling things that you could buy in any half decent sized city in the world, their only draw card being that it was duty free, which of course does not mean profit free. I thought I might be able to get a replacement digital camera body as I had dropped mine prior to leaving Melbourne and stuffed it. The lens wouldn't focus and the body was playing up. I took it with me anyway with a different lens and it worked for a few days before finally fizzling out into an unusable mass of formerly expensive metal, silicone and electronic components. But alas, I could not find the equivalent model. All I can say is thank goodness for travel insurance, which incidentally we will also be claiming cancellation expenses on due to my dear wife catching a cold and not being able to fly out on the nominated date. Instead our 10 day stay was cut to 7 and in all honesty I don't think we could have stayed there much longer.

The place was very backward in many ways. They only got mobile phones last year, TV in 1987, they have one roundabout in the main town area. They had to hold a referendum to decide whether to build it or not for crying out loud! And if that wasn't enough they put a bloody speed hump in the middle of it!

The whole island appears to earn it's main income from tourism and that consists mainly of retirees who are infatuated with the Mutiny on the Bounty story and Norfolk Island's link to this historical event by way of Pitcairn Island's population being resettled there in 1856, not long after the Norfolk Island penal colony was abandoned. All you hear from the locals is how they are 7th or 8th generation descendants of the 7 or so families that were resettled and the silver haired brigade just lap it up.
One interesting throwback is the local language which is a mix of ye olde worlde maritime English with a sprinkling of Tahitian. It almost sounds like a very thick Irish accent, but with some clearly unrecognisable words thrown in every now and again.
Like "Watawey yorlei?" (the local greeting) which translated would mean something to the effect of "In what way are all ye?" So from a linguistic point of view it is the only place you can hear English spoken in a way that resembles closely how it would have been spoken 200 years ago.

People seem to have some sort of infatuation with the Mutiny saga and all that's come from it.
As far as I can tell it all started when the mutineers took the Bounty, kidnapped some Tahitian men and women, found Pitcairn Island, burnt the ship and proceeded to kill and inbreed with each other. In 1856 the population was resettled on Norfolk and some of the settlers went back to that godforsaken rock in the middle of nowhere, Pitcairn, where they proceeded to inbreed and rape each other and each other's children for the next 150 years under the guise of living like good little Seventh Day Adventists, culminating in the sex offence trials.
It beats me how all this real life Lord of the Flies shit can possibly seem appealing to people, but apparently it does.

Our last night's dinner was had at another supposedly good restaurant where seated at the table next to us was the only genuine Pitcairn Islander on Norfolk. It turned out his father Steve Christian and brother Randy were charged, convicted and sentenced at the trials. This particular chap was also looking at having charges laid against him, but one by one the victims withdrew their testimonies due to family pressures coming from Pitcairn.
I was reading a book about the trials Pitcairn Paradise Lost written by a journalist who covered them, but I hadn't got to that part yet.
The islander was very friendly and exuded a natural charm. As far as I can gather, this is how Pitcairn Islanders buttered people up through the ages and managed to maintain that facade of Pacific Island Pious Paradise.

My opinion , for all it's worth, is that Pitcairn islanders have proven that they are unable to lead normal lives as either westerners or Pacific islanders. Their behaviour and consistent abuse of power and trust amongst themselves, their gross indecency and sexual depravity and their general modus operandi is very much the same as has been seen in weird religious cults and sects. One interesting thing is that none of the men offended when ever they were overseas, only in their community, which proves that they knew it was wrong,
The population should really be once again resettled on Norfolk Island where they can happily interact with their descendants and at least have an eye kept on them.
It would save a lot of money trying to prop up this pathetic remnant of the past and at the same time hopefully save future generations the misery and horror of what the present and previous ones have had to go through.
Having said all that, there was a minute portion of islanders who were not involved in the crimes, but not doing anything about them is almost as bad as having performed the acts themselves.

FYI, for people who have been living in the Pacific for over 200 years, the Norfolk restaurants have no idea how to cook fish.


The general feel is that the Norfolk islanders know where their bread and butter is coming from and appear to do the bare minimum required to separate the tourists from their money. The preferred method is to put everyone on collective tours. We found that trying to go it alone is not very fruitful and as a result we spent a lot time at the beach, swimming, reading, lying around. Very relaxing, but even though we were after some relaxation we expected it to be by choice not force, as there really wasn't much else to do.

Anyway, here are some photos:

The view from our cottage.

The bay where we spent a lot of time.

More time at the bay.

Surgeon's cottage

Inside the cottage.

Kingston Pier

More Kingston Pier

And now for some Kingston Pier boats:








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