Sunday, July 02, 2006
WHEELCHAIRS AND ETIQUETTE
This entry is proudly brought to you by Cascade Bitter.
(Thanks Wolfy!)
Wheelchairs.
Wonderful things aren't they?
You never really think about them much until you see a person in one in a shop or struggling to get into a pub or something.
And then it's usually followed by a momentary internal panic isn't it?
Your brain kind of goes through a quick succession of emotions doesn't?
And it's all determined by your proximity to the wheelchair operator.
From a distance your brain registers the wheelchair and prepares for a possible confrontation. A bit like if you were to see a bear from a distance with no immediate threat, but a none the less its existence is registered.
As you and the threatening wheelchair / operator combination get closer, so the brain steps up its threat warning and reaction posibilities.
You immediately check to see if you could in the way or become an obstacle?
If so, you then proceed to take steps to avoid any uncomfortable meeting.
If you should find yourself in the immediate vicinity of one of these machine human cybernetic organisms your reaction will be dictated by whether you are aware of the sudden near physical contact or whether it takes you by surprise.
If you are prepared for the extreme proximity then your reaction will usually be either to frantically, but not suspiciously scan around for an escape route ( if you haven't already spotted one ) or to nervously acknowledge the cyborg's presence and offer to help so as not to look like a completely insensitive prick.
If however you are ambushed by one of these monsters unawares, you may find yourself in a panic state. The appropriate reaction ( after doing the two footed back hop ) should be to put on a very casual look on your obviously startled face and utter some sort of communication such as:
"Sorry mate, didn't see ya there!"
And then proceed to make room.
And if you are asking as to why you should have to move and not the üntermench in the metal contraption, then the answer is simple.
It's because they're in a fucking wheelchair you terminal dickhead!!!
They have enough trouble every day as it is without having to deal with complete fuckwits!
These are just some of the observations I've made whilst confined in one of these.
One other thing, if you see one of these coming your way on a footpath, then when you move over, please do so to the rougher, potholed, cracked or manhole covered part and not to the smooth bit. ( this did actually occur when i had my electric wheelchair )
As you know, my electric wheel chair has been wrenched away from me like a bosom from a hungry baby's mouth, with the reasoning that I should be able to get around with one left leg and one right arm perfectly well.
Well for a while, even though it was kind of difficult and inconvinient, I was getting around ok.
I would go out the back of the hospital to get some non airconditioned air and snap off some photos.
Since my left knee has become defunct I've taken to using my right leg.
Now I know what you're thinking.
With one right leg and one right arm I will just go around in circles.
Not totally far from the truth, the wheelchair does have a left steering bias and so my exploratory sojourns around the hospital have come to a halt.
My neighbour Mark, informed of an interesting use of the wheel chair.
One of his mates works in a nursing home and has managed to become quite adept at wielding these contraptions.
He is able to get them up on two wheels and use the foot rests to lift girls' skirts and demonstrated this ability on the weekend when Mark went home and to the pub for birthday celebrations.
Pretty darn cool if you ask me.
When I get to use two arms I might have a crack at it.
So next time you come across someone in a wheelchair or someone who is mobility challanged think twice about your reaction.........
(Thanks Wolfy!)
Wheelchairs.
Wonderful things aren't they?
You never really think about them much until you see a person in one in a shop or struggling to get into a pub or something.
And then it's usually followed by a momentary internal panic isn't it?
Your brain kind of goes through a quick succession of emotions doesn't?
And it's all determined by your proximity to the wheelchair operator.
From a distance your brain registers the wheelchair and prepares for a possible confrontation. A bit like if you were to see a bear from a distance with no immediate threat, but a none the less its existence is registered.
As you and the threatening wheelchair / operator combination get closer, so the brain steps up its threat warning and reaction posibilities.
You immediately check to see if you could in the way or become an obstacle?
If so, you then proceed to take steps to avoid any uncomfortable meeting.
If you should find yourself in the immediate vicinity of one of these machine human cybernetic organisms your reaction will be dictated by whether you are aware of the sudden near physical contact or whether it takes you by surprise.
If you are prepared for the extreme proximity then your reaction will usually be either to frantically, but not suspiciously scan around for an escape route ( if you haven't already spotted one ) or to nervously acknowledge the cyborg's presence and offer to help so as not to look like a completely insensitive prick.
If however you are ambushed by one of these monsters unawares, you may find yourself in a panic state. The appropriate reaction ( after doing the two footed back hop ) should be to put on a very casual look on your obviously startled face and utter some sort of communication such as:
"Sorry mate, didn't see ya there!"
And then proceed to make room.
And if you are asking as to why you should have to move and not the üntermench in the metal contraption, then the answer is simple.
It's because they're in a fucking wheelchair you terminal dickhead!!!
They have enough trouble every day as it is without having to deal with complete fuckwits!
These are just some of the observations I've made whilst confined in one of these.
One other thing, if you see one of these coming your way on a footpath, then when you move over, please do so to the rougher, potholed, cracked or manhole covered part and not to the smooth bit. ( this did actually occur when i had my electric wheelchair )
As you know, my electric wheel chair has been wrenched away from me like a bosom from a hungry baby's mouth, with the reasoning that I should be able to get around with one left leg and one right arm perfectly well.
Well for a while, even though it was kind of difficult and inconvinient, I was getting around ok.
I would go out the back of the hospital to get some non airconditioned air and snap off some photos.
Since my left knee has become defunct I've taken to using my right leg.
Now I know what you're thinking.
With one right leg and one right arm I will just go around in circles.
Not totally far from the truth, the wheelchair does have a left steering bias and so my exploratory sojourns around the hospital have come to a halt.
My neighbour Mark, informed of an interesting use of the wheel chair.
One of his mates works in a nursing home and has managed to become quite adept at wielding these contraptions.
He is able to get them up on two wheels and use the foot rests to lift girls' skirts and demonstrated this ability on the weekend when Mark went home and to the pub for birthday celebrations.
Pretty darn cool if you ask me.
When I get to use two arms I might have a crack at it.
So next time you come across someone in a wheelchair or someone who is mobility challanged think twice about your reaction.........
