Monday, December 18, 2006
ADVENTURES OF THE NAUTICAL VIRGINS
This walking caper isn't exactly what it's cracked up to be I reckon, but I knew that it wasn't going to be smooth sailing.
I've got a screw in my right femur, which is poking out enough to stick into the muscle around the inner thigh area.
That one's been doing that for some time but hasn't really been too much of a problem.
Now it has an accomplice as the screw through my right knee is doing the same thing the screw in my left knee was doing, catching on a tendon when I use my leg for walking.
My nine month odyssey to become perched on two legs again has come to a bittersweet point.
I can finally 'walk', but not without problems or pain.
Due to the timing I doubt I will be able to get anything done about it until well into the new year.
That's when I hope to have the two offending screws removed and get on with practicing this whole walking business.
I know it's not meant to be easy and I can deal with that, but geez, does it have to drag on for so long?
The offending two screws in the femur.
On a brighter note, took my crutches on a road test at the beach on Saturday.
Cam, Kate and I jumped into the XB and headed off to meet up with Brenton and the girl his utterly besotted with at the moment ( who shall remain nameless in order to protect the innocent ).
Portsea was the destination, right down the eastern side of Port Phillip Bay.
It's quite a few stubbies trip and even a toilet stop on a Saturday afternoon.
We even had to stop at one point as the car had started making that awful sound that can only be a betrayal of it's thirst for engine oil, but eventually we found Brenton and his object of fascination in a hotel.
From there we wandered to the beach where we were entertained by a couple of blokes with a massive boat, attempting to firstly dock and then trailer the unwieldy tub.
I knew it was going to end in tears when I watched one of them motor towards the jetty at a rate of knots only a very experienced boatie should even contemplate.
After bouncing off the jetty and going backwards, he had another crack at it, this time at a much more appropriate pace and managed to offload his cargo of kids and wives, who looked like they were just about to drop to their knees and go all Pope John Paul II on the wooden boards of the jetty.
From there we moved towards the boat ramp where his mate had arrived with the Landcruiser and trailer.
In my opinion the trailer was nowhere near far enough into the water, but who is going to listen to some walking wounded on crutches.
The reason why the trailer needs to be lower in the water is so that the boat can float onto the trailer and then at the last minute motor up to the end of the trailer where someone can hook it up.
These blokes decided to try and motor the boat up the trailer like it was some 14 foot dinghy.
I gave a little groan as one of the rollers on the trailer decided it had had enough and promptly shot off into the sky and land a few metres away in the water.
Wrong angle, wrong approach, everything about it was all wrong and so the two men found themselves kind of stuck.
After much discussion they decided to reverse the boat off the trailer and move the trailer further into the water and have another go at it.
This time they didn't risk driving the boat up and instead chose to winch the 7 metre long beast manually.
AND I watched with mild amusement as the whole kit and caboodle started to roll backwards into the wild blue sea when the driver attempted to move up the ramp.
I thought the whole lot was going to end up in Davy Jones' Locker.
I swear, it was like watching a learner driver with really short legs, badly negotiating between the clutch, accelerator and the incline.
Brenton's love interest had uttered quite a few suggestions of going over to the two amateur boaties and telling them how it's done, but I insisted that we shouldn't as it would be bad form for a bunch of landlubbers to dish out advice on boat handling, besides it would be more entertaining this way.
And how else were they going to learn?
Eventually the boaties went home to repair the boat / trailer, the wooer and his wooee headed off back to Melbourne and we procured some local fish and chips.
We took our white parcel of deep fried salty goodness over to the other side of the point where we could compare the contrast of Bass Straight to the tranquility of the bay.
In this salubrious location we munched on our fish, chips and squid rings whilst engaging in that ever popular pastime of throwing the odd chip to the seagulls and watching them scramble like a pack of L.A. looters who've spotted a whitey truck driver.
Of the last three bits of fish I've had in the last three weeks, this one was the closest to being acceptable.
Although the fish tasted good, the batter was crispy and had some sort of structural integrity, the size of this piece of flake left me wondering whether it was some tiny baby shark that I was happily tucking into.
Hmmm, these things could be quite big in Japan.
Happy 9 month anniversary to me!
I'm off to have a beer. :)
Recent reports of nuclear testing in Bass Straight have yet to be confirmed.
If the sea doesn't take you out, the H bomb will......
I've got a screw in my right femur, which is poking out enough to stick into the muscle around the inner thigh area.
That one's been doing that for some time but hasn't really been too much of a problem.
Now it has an accomplice as the screw through my right knee is doing the same thing the screw in my left knee was doing, catching on a tendon when I use my leg for walking.
My nine month odyssey to become perched on two legs again has come to a bittersweet point.
I can finally 'walk', but not without problems or pain.
Due to the timing I doubt I will be able to get anything done about it until well into the new year.
That's when I hope to have the two offending screws removed and get on with practicing this whole walking business.
I know it's not meant to be easy and I can deal with that, but geez, does it have to drag on for so long?
The offending two screws in the femur.
On a brighter note, took my crutches on a road test at the beach on Saturday.
Cam, Kate and I jumped into the XB and headed off to meet up with Brenton and the girl his utterly besotted with at the moment ( who shall remain nameless in order to protect the innocent ).
Portsea was the destination, right down the eastern side of Port Phillip Bay.
It's quite a few stubbies trip and even a toilet stop on a Saturday afternoon.
We even had to stop at one point as the car had started making that awful sound that can only be a betrayal of it's thirst for engine oil, but eventually we found Brenton and his object of fascination in a hotel.
From there we wandered to the beach where we were entertained by a couple of blokes with a massive boat, attempting to firstly dock and then trailer the unwieldy tub.
I knew it was going to end in tears when I watched one of them motor towards the jetty at a rate of knots only a very experienced boatie should even contemplate.
After bouncing off the jetty and going backwards, he had another crack at it, this time at a much more appropriate pace and managed to offload his cargo of kids and wives, who looked like they were just about to drop to their knees and go all Pope John Paul II on the wooden boards of the jetty.
From there we moved towards the boat ramp where his mate had arrived with the Landcruiser and trailer.
In my opinion the trailer was nowhere near far enough into the water, but who is going to listen to some walking wounded on crutches.
The reason why the trailer needs to be lower in the water is so that the boat can float onto the trailer and then at the last minute motor up to the end of the trailer where someone can hook it up.
These blokes decided to try and motor the boat up the trailer like it was some 14 foot dinghy.
I gave a little groan as one of the rollers on the trailer decided it had had enough and promptly shot off into the sky and land a few metres away in the water.
Wrong angle, wrong approach, everything about it was all wrong and so the two men found themselves kind of stuck.
After much discussion they decided to reverse the boat off the trailer and move the trailer further into the water and have another go at it.
This time they didn't risk driving the boat up and instead chose to winch the 7 metre long beast manually.
AND I watched with mild amusement as the whole kit and caboodle started to roll backwards into the wild blue sea when the driver attempted to move up the ramp.
I thought the whole lot was going to end up in Davy Jones' Locker.
I swear, it was like watching a learner driver with really short legs, badly negotiating between the clutch, accelerator and the incline.
Brenton's love interest had uttered quite a few suggestions of going over to the two amateur boaties and telling them how it's done, but I insisted that we shouldn't as it would be bad form for a bunch of landlubbers to dish out advice on boat handling, besides it would be more entertaining this way.
And how else were they going to learn?
Eventually the boaties went home to repair the boat / trailer, the wooer and his wooee headed off back to Melbourne and we procured some local fish and chips.
We took our white parcel of deep fried salty goodness over to the other side of the point where we could compare the contrast of Bass Straight to the tranquility of the bay.
In this salubrious location we munched on our fish, chips and squid rings whilst engaging in that ever popular pastime of throwing the odd chip to the seagulls and watching them scramble like a pack of L.A. looters who've spotted a whitey truck driver.
Of the last three bits of fish I've had in the last three weeks, this one was the closest to being acceptable.
Although the fish tasted good, the batter was crispy and had some sort of structural integrity, the size of this piece of flake left me wondering whether it was some tiny baby shark that I was happily tucking into.
Hmmm, these things could be quite big in Japan.
Happy 9 month anniversary to me!
I'm off to have a beer. :)
Recent reports of nuclear testing in Bass Straight have yet to be confirmed.
If the sea doesn't take you out, the H bomb will......
I spotted this ASIO agent hanging around our vehicle looking suspicious.
I had a clear shot too!
I had a clear shot too!
.
